Emotions
by Shadow 3013
Summary: Harry and Ron confront their feelings towards each other, and Hermione has to figure out how she feels about the relationship her two best friends have. Eventual HarryXRon / RonXHarry slash/yaoi/shonen-ai. Takes place after the Colors series.
1. Warnings and Disclaimer

The Harry Potter series and all its characters do not belong to me. They are the marvelous creations of the wonderful J. K. Rowling, whom I love for coming up with them; I'm just borrowing them for a bit and hoping I don't dishonor the series. I have no money, I mean no disrespect, and this is for pleasure, not profit, so please don't sue.  
  
The Emotions series (that's this one) takes place sometime after my Colors series; though not necessary, it might help if you read the Colors series (Flame Red; Black Hair, Emerald Eyes; and Green With Envy) first.  
  
I'm going to warn you right now that this series will contain slash/shonen- ai/yaoi. For those of you unfamiliar with any of those terms, it means a boy/boy relationship; in this case, it's Ron and Harry. If you aren't comfortable with this, or you don't like homosexual relationships, then please don't read it; it isn't your cup of tea, and there's no reason to flame me when I've forewarned you what will be in this fic.  
  
Now, if you've gotten this far. I hope you enjoy this series, please review if you want me to write more for either this series or a new one. Thanks! 


	2. Confused

I'm confused. Something's wrong with Harry, but I can't figure out what it is. He's been avoiding me, so it has to be something I've done, only… I haven't done anything wrong!  
  
I first noticed the change a few weeks ago. We've been in school for less than two months, so that means he's been acting oddly for almost the entire time we've been here. He's not overly obvious in avoiding me, after all, we have the same classes, and we always sit next to each other in them, but he's been avoiding as much outside of class contact with me as possible; before this year, we've always spent all our time together, so what 's changed?  
  
Oh no… Bloody… What if he's noticed that I like him as more than a friend, and he doesn't feel the same way but doesn't want to confront me? Or hurt my feelings? That's a reasonable explanation, and a likely one at that… I hope that's not the reason, but what else could it be?  
  
Maybe Hermione knows something that I don't… It's worth asking her, at least. We're all in the commons room doing our homework, but she's been done with hers for almost an hour now; she's just been helping other students on assignments they're having trouble with. All I have to do is get her alone for just a minute or two, but that might be a lot harder than it sounds.  
  
"Hermione?" I say softly, getting her attention in between her impromptu tutoring sessions. She looks up quickly.  
  
"Yes Ron? Did you need some help on your assignments after all?"  
  
"No, I'm finished with my work. I just… Can we go over there and talk for a moment please?" I ask her, pointing to one corner of the room. She looks a little puzzled, but nods her agreement. We both stand and walk over to the corner; Harry watches us go, then quickly looks the other way when he notices me looking at him. What is wrong with him?  
  
"Hermione," I begin when we reach the quite corner and sit down. "Do you know what's bothering Harry?"  
  
She frowns a little, her eyebrows sloping downward. "No, I don't… I'd been meaning to ask you the same question, but I was afraid it was only my imagination that he's been acting strangely lately."  
  
"I wonder if it's something I've done?" I muse. "It must be, he's been avoiding me, but I can't think of anything I've done wrong lately. Can you?"  
  
Hermione shook her head. "No, I can't. As far as I know, you haven't done anything wrong. I had noticed he's been avoiding you, though, so perhaps he's mad at you for something you don't realize you've done? You know, like you said something wrong without knowing it?"  
  
I nod; that is a very good possibility. I do that way too often for my tastes; talking before I think and getting myself in trouble, that is. "I very well might have… I just wish I could figure out what it might have been so that I can apologize and make him happy again!"  
  
Oops… I think I might have gotten a little too loud at the end of that exclamation, as several of the students closest to us are staring… Harry doesn't seem to have noticed, though, so I guess it's okay.  
  
I sigh and stand up, taking a moment to stretch my muscles. "Well, I'm going to bed, 'Mione. I'll see you in the morning." I stop for a moment, then ask the question that's burning on my tongue. "Hey, do me a favor, please, and make sure Harry gets all his homework done, okay?" It didn't used to be so important, but now… Well, the last thing I want is for him to have detention with Professor Snape by himself.  
  
"All right, Ron. Goodnight." She stands up and heads back to the table she started at; there's already a small crowd of people waiting by the time she gets there. I hold back a chuckle; she'll never get much rest at this rate, but she loves it, so it's okay. I make a quick stop at the table to collect my books, say goodnight to Harry (he just nods), then go up the stairs to the fifth year boys' room.  
  
I've been in the room for less than five minutes when I hear someone coming up the stairs, heading towards our room. The door swings open; it's Harry. He doesn't have his schoolwork with him, so it's probably safe to assume that he's talked Hermione into finishing it for him, 'just this once.' He walks into the room and shuts the door behind him.  
  
"Harry…" I say, trying to keep my voice from trembling.  
  
"What is it, Ron?" Harry replies. He sounds angry, annoyed. I must have done something wrong, it's the only explanation; why else would he be so cross whenever I'm around?  
  
"Did I do something wrong?" My voice is trembling and barely louder than a whisper; I can feel my lip trying to tremble.  
  
I hope he tells me what's going on, even if it means I've messed up somehow. At least that way I'd be able to fix things, make them go back to normal…  
  
I just want my friend back. 


	3. Scared

"Did I do something wrong?" Ron asks, his expression hurt and confused. I feel horrible, like I've kicked a puppy that's brought me the newspaper but accidentally shredded it in the process.  
  
What can I say to a question like that? Of course he hasn't done anything wrong; all he's done is been himself! All he's done is been so horribly adorable, so funny, irresistible, and gorgeous, a great friend, and all around just too good to believe…  
  
All he's done is make me fall in love with him. And that's not any more his fault than it is mine, so what do I say to him?  
  
"No, Ron, you haven't done anything wrong." I reply, trying to keep from sounding too annoyed. I brush by him and head over to my bed, then sit and look out the window; I hope that he'll just go away, but I know that he won't. That's just not him.  
  
Ron just stands in front of his bed for a moment, not moving, then turns and takes a step towards me. "Then… what's wrong? Is there anything I can do?" He sounds hesitant, like he's afraid I'll start yelling at him or casting a spell, and I feel even worse than before. He shouldn't ever have to feel uncomfortable around me, especially not like that. I would never hurt him. No matter how upset I get, I know I can't hurt him. Not physically, at least.  
  
"Ron… Can we talk about this later? I'm really tired right now, and I'm going to bed." I say, making a point to sound particularly weary.  
  
He sighs and walks back to his bed, shoulders slumped in defeat. Oh, God, what have I done now? Forgive me, Ron…  
  
"All right, Harry. I'll play your game for now, but I'll find out eventually." He whispers, flinging himself onto his bed and drawing the curtains closed.  
  
Harry Potter, you idiot… Look what you've done this time… I fall back on my bed, close my own curtains, and do my best to muffle the sobs that accompany the tears streaming down my face.  
  
~ ~ ~  
  
It's been three days since Ron confronted me, and we haven't spoken since. It's not that he hasn't tried to talk to me, I've just been too scared of what will happen. I hate making him upset, but I'd rather have it like this than have him hate me… And I know that if I tell Ron how I really feel about him, he'll do just that: hate me.  
  
I wish I could talk to someone about how I'm feeling, but who is there to talk to? I can't go to Hermione; I know she has a crush on Ron, so that wouldn't be fair on her or good for me. Or Ron, for that matter. I won't go to Percy; there's no telling how he'll react to the fact that I think I like other boys, especially when that other boy is his youngest brother.  
  
That leaves only three people: Genny or Fred and George. It's obvious that Genny likes me, and I don't want to hurt her, so that isn't an option. As for Fred and George… Well, I think they'd probably tease me to no end, then tease poor Ron without him realizing what they're doing. That's definitely not what I want.  
  
I suppose that I could go to Neville, but I don't think he'd understand, and going to one of the teachers doesn't seem like a good idea. Maybe if Professor Lupin were here, but… The only adult here I think I might be comfortable talking about such an important matter is Professor Dumbledore, but he's away on a meeting right now… Which leaves me with nobody to turn to.  
  
I sigh and lay my head down on my books; it's late at night, and I'm in the commons room by myself, studying. Or trying to, at least… I can't keep my mind off of Ron, no matter how hard I try. I can't concentrate on my studies; I probably should have asked Hermione to help me earlier, but I was busy with Quidditch practice when she was helping everyone, and now she's asleep, so it's too late to ask her now. I guess I'd better just try my best…  
  
~ ~ ~  
  
"Harry!" Hermione calls from behind me. I'm heading towards breakfast; I'm surprised that she wasn't up before me.  
  
"Yeah?" I ask, turning around to face her. Her face blanches a little, and I feel bad; it must seem like I'm snapping at her, but I can't help it. That's just the way I'm feeling towards everyone and everything, right now.  
  
"Look, Harry." She sounds both cross and worried. "It's been almost a week since you and Ron started fighting. I don't know what's wrong, and if neither of you have asked me for advice then it isn't my place to cut in and give it to either of you uninvited, but one of you needs to do something. Both of you look horribly miserable, you're in wretched moods, and it's making things awkward for everyone that has to be around you. Especially when everyone's together in the commons room."  
  
There's really nothing I can say to that. After all, I'm the one that's been avoiding Ron for no apparent reason. He's tried repeatedly to talk to me, but I've been ignoring him except for in class situations where I can't afford to use such a strategy. Maybe soon he'll stop asking what's bothering me, and I can let things go back to normal without constantly keeping my guard up against finally just bursting out "I love you, Ron Weasley, that's what's bothering me!"  
  
I'm sure that if 'Mione realized that Ron and I have been 'fighting' for longer than a week or so, she'd flip. I'm not sure exactly what she'd do, but… It'd most likely involve a spell or three, and making me very uncomfortable.  
  
"Look, Hermione, I'm hungry and I want to eat breakfast. You can either come with me or stay behind, but I'd really rather eat than talk right now." I say with a frown. Brushing by her, I continue to my destination, walking a little faster. Maybe if I get her upset enough she'll leave me alone for a while… I'm still struggling with my own mind, and other people's thoughts are the last thing I need bothering me right now.  
  
"Locomotor Mortis!" Hermione shouts, whipping her wand out of her robes and pointing at me. I'm so surprised that I don't even think to try and defend myself against the spell. I guess it's a good thing that I only just reached the way out of the commons room; Hermione could get into a lot of trouble if she'd have cast a spell in the hall, and the way she looks right now, she probably wouldn't even think twice about breaking a rule.  
  
"All right, Harry. You've made things difficult on yourself, but we're still going to talk. Mobilicorpus!" She heads towards the room for the fifth year girls, letting me float along behind her.  
  
I think I'm going to be in trouble… 


	4. Angry

I really don't know just what it is that's happened between Ron and Harry, but I'm determined to get this whole mess resolved one way or another. They'll get angry, and they'll probably shout a lot, especially Ron. They'll be stubborn, pig-headed brutes, and even if I get them to start talking to each other again they'll be upset with me for days… But it will be worth it.  
  
They don't realize it, but the way they're acting is getting to everyone. It's incredibly obvious that something's wrong. With the exception of one fight, which didn't last all that long, they almost never went anywhere unless it was together, for four whole years, and now, all of a sudden, they go out their way to avoid each other? Or, rather, Harry goes out of his way to avoid Ron, and Ron just takes it and tries to just stick as close to Harry as he can without being driven off?  
  
All I can say is that it's a very good thing that the other fifth year girls are already downstairs at breakfast. If I would have had to chase them out of the room with Harry floating behind me, rumors would fly through the school faster than a Firebolt, and that wouldn't help the situation at all.  
  
"All right, Harry. Explain yourself." I say once we're both in the room. I dispel the two spells I have on him, and he lands on the carpet with a muffled thud.  
  
"You wouldn't understand, 'Mione." He half-sighs, half-growls. The look on his face is something between despair and anger.  
  
"Maybe I won't, but I want to hear what you have to say anyways." He throws me a look that's pure venom, but I refuse to be shaken. This concerns my two best friends and their happiness; there's no way that I'm going to let one little glare back me down.  
  
We face each other off silently for several long moments before he finally looks away, conceding my victory. Slowly, quietly, he begins to talk.  
  
Every word that comes out of his mouth makes me feel two things as once: anger at Harry, and sympathy for both him and Ron. Especially Ron.  
  
"So," I begin once he seems to be done explaining. "What this amounts to is that you love Ron, but you're too scared to tell him, so instead you're pushing him away?" Harry nods slowly, frowning deeply. His face is red, but I'm not sure if it's from embarrassment, anger, or both. Or something else completely different.  
  
"You idiot!" I yell, whirling in mid pace to stare at him. "I don't know if he feels the same, but you have no right to do this to him! You could have just dealt with it by staying silent, like I do. Or you could come right out and tell him. But you do not have the right to torture him like this! Anything you say, anything, is better than this. Don't you realize what you're doing to him?!?"  
  
"Hermione, please,"  
  
"No!" I'm shouting, and that isn't going to help. I have to handle this calmly… I take a few deep breaths, getting my temper under control, then try again. "What is it, Harry? What else can you say that could possibly make this okay?"  
  
"Nothing. It's wrong, and I know it. I just… I want you to understand… And I want your help. I hate seeing him like this… But I can't talk to him! I've tried… But… I just can't…"  
  
I falter for a moment, just standing still. I know exactly how he feels. I've been in love with Ron Weasley since the beginning of Second Year, and I've never been able to say anything to him… But I've never done anything like this to him!  
  
"Harry, believe me. I understand exactly how you feel. But this isn't the way you need to be handling this! Have you bothered to look at Ron lately? I mean, really look at him? Not only is he obviously miserable, but he's barely eaten a thing for a week. I've been doing his homework for four days now because he can't concentrate long enough to do a single problem himself. You know I wouldn't normally do that, not even for you!"  
  
I take another deep breath and try to consider just what I should say. I can leave it at that, and hope he figures things out on his own… Or I can keep talking and help him come up with something. If I stop now, I don't think this matter will ever get resolved, so it's up to me to start things off.  
  
"All right." I finally continue, looking Harry square in the eye. "We're going to figure out a way for you to tell him before the week is up. Today is Wednesday, so we have three days. If neither of us have an idea by then, I will personally lock the two of you in a room alone over the weekend; I'm sure that something would happen over the course of two days."  
  
He stares at me, shocked and unblinking. I wait patiently for an answer, and after a few minutes, I actually get one. "Okay, 'Mione." He whispers.  
  
"Good. Now let's go eat breakfast while we still have time." I turn and walk out of the room, and he slowly follows me.  
  
One way or another, I will get things worked out between the two of them. Now all I have to do is start planning… 


End file.
